techpoetry

Dealing wih Corporate users the video edition.

Remember my post about dealing with corporate users? Well maybe I went alittle overboard but hey I just got done watching this so I was in the mood for exaggeration. I thought I would share the IT Crowd with everyone. This is way too funny! If you are not in the UK you must use a proxy for find it on bittorrent. Watch, laugh, and learn about dealing with corporate users.

Have you forgotten?

What kind of TechPoetry site could this be without some Theater Poetry! Yeah! And do you wanna know this weeks feature? Of course you do. It's LOST.

LOST absolutly rocks on my new 51" HDTV ... ok ok... before webgrits corrects me the TV is HD ready - we don't have a HD reciever but ... come on --- I've never seen Evangeline Lilly more up close and personal --- opps --- hope my girlfriend doesn't read this...

Lost was "in her words" a very dark episode this week. Sawyer actually did that mean thing. Personally I hate frogs (or anything reptile) can't stand the texture when touched. But I sure didn't applaud his deed.

And the new info on Sayid! Man! That is just cold - real - painful - and good TV! To believe it was the Americans that give him this skill or curse? Well I say cool. I understand it had to be done and the Americans just did the right thing and made an Iraqi soldier do it so they wouldn't have to.

Oh - and what would have happened? If Locke didn't get the code in the computer entered in time. I don't know but judging from the slot machine (hope it doesn't get three peaches in a row) or worse smilely faces! I wouldn't want to be in the casino if that happened! Something bad was afoot thats for sure!

Finally - You did know the stranger was one of the others didn't you? Don't tell me you felt sorry for him. Don't tell me you rooted for Jack did you? Hey webgrits says Jacks an asshole "I don't like Jack". Don't tell me you wanted Sayid to stop beating that man - you didn't right? You too felt no guilt right? Have you forgotten - forgotten about the others?

PS... If you are looking at this and thinking man is he behind that was Wed. night. You appearently don't know of the TiVo way of life here around techpoetry .

GPO database for 3rd party apps anyone?

Sure I've used GPO successfully to allow a few 3rd party apps that want administrator rights to run. ("including the famous QuickBooks") I could use google. I can use "FileMon" and "RegMon" to monitor software to monitor things and figure out the settings myself. A time consuming process of trial and error until it's perfected :-(

Customers say "Make us secure." Best Practices tell us to do the least priveledges thing.

Not good when a customer buys a new fangled something (copier? GPS management? etc...) and then the vendor points at the consultant when they can't make it install / run.

But where is a database of GPO settings for third party apps? Do my google skills defy me? I can't find one? Please put the links in the comments if you know of one. Otherwise I am hoping someone will take this post as motivation to start one.

Top Ten Tips on Dealing with Corporate Users.

It all starts with emails in all caps!
What is it like trying to support the corporate user you ask. Emails with all caps will slam you about little things. Disrespect will bash your will. Misunderstanding will drive you nuts and then you will loose the battle because to them you are nothing! You simply exist for there amusement. You will cry for the respect that you thought you earned by many nights up till 2 or 3 am slaving to learn, troubleshoot, and repair client/server networks. No you deserve no respect little computer nerd!

Where is the respect? I don't know. All I can offer are the following things I've learned when dealing with the corporate user.

Top Ten Tips on dealing with a Corporate User

(1) Ignore the emails in all caps! They think it makes them look important. "They might even have trouble reading smaller case." When replying keep it extremly short and simple with all lower case.

(2) Don't try to explain anything technically to them. (I've made this mistake) They are insecure and will see it as you threating their knowledge.

3) Don't expect respect in the first place! Hang your head in shame. You shouldn't consider yourself someone to tell an executive what to do. Go forth and offer your services and nothing more or nothing less.

(4) Don't make things easier for them! The corporate user has been a business man usually since typewriters. They might even have a typewriter in their office or old school secretary to do their typing for them. Don't dare change things. He knows it works! This goes for all the things they do the hard way. You can help but they don't want your help.

(6) Be busy. But not too busy! I am sure being in computers you have so many things to do that you can't answer all requests immediately! But do complete requests in an exeptable time frame and prefferably when least expected. If you are lucky you might earn a smidgen of respect here. Providing constant progress on your part you will be viewed as a man who has many things to do and must proritize these tasks. But be careful! A computer person can only recieve so much respect before they become viewed as unmanageable.

(7) Learn about your users! Probably this should be number one! Find out what their interests are! Use google to find some sites that match their interests. Send them an email during the last part of a Friday occasionally with a link or two. Ask them questions even if you don't give a flip. Unless you want to open pandora's box I'd advise against introducing them to google.

(8) Reward those who respect you with cool stuff! Setup that new feature for them first. It might not be spoken but it would be understood that good things come to those who don't bash the computer guy.

(9) Save the day! Be prepared to save the day! Ensure backups are in place at all times. Keep virus definitions up to date. Review your event logs! Of course this isn't something you wish for but if a catasrophe strikes then you will recieve offers of drinks and refreshments from others silently sweating it out. Those corporate users will no doubt feel apprecitive of you if only for a weeks time at least it's something. A dog is happy to see you even after you kick it in the gut right? Thats what you are to them "A Dog"!

(10) Don't be bitter! Don't write blog posts like this one! Better yet go into management and forget that challenging carreer path you started down in computer networking. Become a corporate user that understands! One that doesn't write everything in all caps! One that gives the respect that the "computer guy" deserves. Go forth and make this a better world for all geeks!

The statements above are not my personal feelings. I am a geek at heart and only speak from the experience of endureing the disrespect daily. I wish I could wear a RTFM t-shirt to work some days...